Parenting is Easy!

It’s summer time! Kids are out of school. They are excited about being able to sleep in, play video games all day, watch more TV and maybe go outside to play. Parents are scrambling to figure out what to do with these children that don’t have “free” child care [a.k.a. school].

Having PJ out of school now,  I keep wondering if summers are like they were back when I was a kid in 1980? This was back when you could leave your kids at home and have the oldest sibling, in my case an 8 year old sister, watched over me & the house while mom was off working at K-mart. Trying to think back to a childhood summer some 29 years ago has been very hard [my head still hurts]. It was so hard to remember what I did during that summer, that I had to call my mom and ask. I got my answer plus a bit more then I expected.

During the summer of 1980, I was sent to Vancouver, Canada for about two months to stay with my grandmother Mary Beaver. The  details of my stay with my grandmother are foggy, but from what I can remember we visited lots of family, ate lots of takeout Chinese food and mostly hung out in her apartment [I can't remember if it was that trip or another one when I jumped from her 2nd story balcony to the ground below. Either way I must have been pretty damn bored].

To end my summer trip at my grandmother’s home my [divorced] parents drove me and my sister from Vancouver to Los Angeles in a orange 1976 Volkswagen Beetle. To top that, the beetle’s front cargo trunk was filled with ice and steelhead salmon after we stopped at Burnt Ranch in Northern California for a few days of fishing on the Trinity River.

But, before all the fun of fishing along the Trinity river, my family & I were subjected to a strip search for suspected drug possession at the US/Canada border. Luckily we all got released and I didn’t earn a criminal record before the age of 7 [gotta love parents of the 70's/80's].

So, how do my life adventures play in to PJ’s life as a 7 year old enjoying the fruits of summer vacation? First thing, definitely no border crossing with anything that might be mistaken as an illegal substance. The other big difference is we don’t feel the need to ship PJ &/or MJ off to their grandparents house in Utah, as my mom put it, “to get a break” [Renae might think differently by the end of summer]. Plus the last time PJ was sent to visit her grandparents in Utah a week ahead of Renae & I, she barely made it 3 days before she was home sick [ok, Mommy sick].

I think the days of shipping your kids off to the grandparents for a month or two are pretty much over. It might happen more when the kids are older. But with people waiting longer to have kids, grandparents these days don’t have as much pep in their step to be dragged all around by kids 5 to 10 years old.

The other big difference my daughters have from my childhood summer activities, is choice. I know I didn’t have a say if I was headed to Canada, Los Angeles, Oregon or wherever when summer rolled around. If the decision was made, my lil tan behind was headed to that destination. With PJ we usually give her the option to do 2 or 3 major activities/camps each summer. Living in San Diego provides a world of options for kid’s activities during the summer break. There are so many options that it’s hard to choose what camp/activity to sign a kid up for.  And now that PJ is 7, that list has doubled.

In years past PJ has gone to camps at Sea World, a wild life rescue, a performing arts studio in Balboa Park, the YMCA & more. This year we were trying to keep is simple. We had planned a soccer camp [which she has started], surf camp and then left it open for one other option. But now PJ remembered something we mentioned in years past. We told her that when she was 7 that should could attend a horse camp. We were all good with it until the price for the camp rared its ugly head. Then we had to go back to the lil boss with a new budget proposal for her summer activities. We layed out the options for PJ; 2 more camps or horse camp. You can only guess what she picked. But it was a good situation to allow her to fully choose what she wanted to do. I have no doubt that she will love it [I also have no doubt that our credit card company will love it also ].

I think it is beneficial to a kids personal growth to allow them to choose their own paths. It does somewhat relieve you, the parent, of setting them up with crap activities that they didn’t want to do and giving them an open door to hate you for next 20 years. Besides that, choice is good. If you have the means to give your kids a choice of what to do during the summer besides sitting on the couch watching TV, then do it. If you don’t have the financial means, there are many program available to help pay for summer activities. An example is the YMCA and Boys and Girls Club. Their summer programs usually rock and they offer many options to those that don’t have the financial means.

Our world is full of options. Let’s start making sure that we are giving out kids enough opportunities to experience these options. I loved many of the summer activities my parents setup for me as a child and I am trying to do the same for my kids in today society while empowering them to be their own lil person.

- ken

To my Dad, Ken Simeon [yes I am a junior]. You were born in Watts, California in 1943. You were child # 7 of 8 and was the biggest kid to be born amongst his siblings @ 13 lbs. Throughout your life you had numerous “adventures”. From defending your parents house with your brothers & sisters from people that were really pissed off at your farther [my grandfather that I never meet]. You served as a Captain  in the US Army with one tour in Korea and I think 2 tours to Vietnam. You’ve traveled all over the western United States fishing the ocean, lakes, & rivers of the areas. You’ve fathered 4 children and you are loved by many, many people.

I have a lot to thank you for, dad. First thanks for “doing” my mom and making me [ I hope it was a fun night ]. Thanks for teaching me how to drive a nail in straight, how to use power tools safely, to properly read a measuring tape and even understand blue prints. Dad, you are a highly skilled carpenter and have made a good life from your trade [you still owe PJ & MJ a toy box]. You also taught me to fish; in the ocean, on a lake and along rivers. You taught me about camping, gave me the love for travel, showed me that people of all backgrounds can be called a friend and that the world is pretty fucked up.

The biggest thing I thank you for is staying in my life after you & mom divorced when I was 5. I can’t say it was easy to always love you when I was a child. You had your fair share of dead beat dad moments. I remember spending way too many occasions sitting on mom’s porch waiting for you to show up to take me on an adventure. But for whatever reason you ended up disappointing me by not showing up or by being so late we couldn’t do anything [It sucks that it still hurts to think about those times]. But when you did show up and take me with him, it was magical.

Fast forward about 30 years; I am a father and you are a grandpa, aka Papa Kenny, you do make an effort to see your granddaughters. Although it has taken you a while to become the grandfather that I expected you to be. I am very happy that you are in the lives of my girls.

But no matter how happy I am with you, dad, there are still many things that piss me off. I can’t stand the favoritism you openly display to my older sister [which filters into her family]. I don’t appreciate your expectations that I am going to be ass up in air ready to take the “Simeon family” enema like my sister does. You should know by now, with almost 9 years of me being married, that Renae & I don’t like the large family dinners at your house.

Regardless of things I don’t like about you I really do love you, dad. I can’t deny that or try to say I don’t. I love you with all of your faults and relish your accomplishments. I am lucky to have you in my life and the lives of my girls.

Thanks for being my dad,

- Ken

Protect your child. Don’t let them get hurt. Make sure you’re watching every move. These are the things that run through the minds of all parents. It’s in our nature to protect our children. But how much protecting it too much? What’s the extent you would go to protect your child from getting hurt during everyday life? Would you carry around your small child on your hip like they were a purse to make sure they stay out of trouble? Would you wrap them in bubble wrap before you send them out to play with their friends or before you head to a friend’s birthday party for their kid?

This past weekend we celebrated the 1st birthday of MJ. We also selfishly made her birthday party into a house warming party [well you know that 1st birthdays are more of a celebration for the parents making it through the first year of the baby's life]. So we had double the reasons to celebrate and invited a good amount friends & family over to the house. Everyone that can said that they had a blast. It helped so much that the weather held out to allow our guest and us to swim in the pool.

But one thing kept bugging me during the party and for sure afterwards while talking with Renae. What I couldn’t believe was the number of people completely hovered over their children. A majority of our friends that had sub 5 year olds basically had their kids tucked under mommy or daddy’s wing during the entire party. In the pool is understandable, which I would expected. But to also do it when the children were out of the pool and the pool was covered. This situation made it very hard to have any form of an adult conversation with our friends.

It felt  so weird to me cause I feel that we have a very safe back yard.  Plus, we hired a life guard to watch over the kids [& adults] while we were swimming. The cover on pool is a hard cover that can hold up to 400 pounds per square inch [there is no risk of drowning]. We have fake grass, so there will be no grass stains to scrub out later. We had toys of MJ’s & PJ’s out to make sure the range of kids had something to play with. Plus, we made sure to pick up all of Scooby’s poop [we don't want any kid mistaking a piece of dog shit for a piece of chocolate]. I thought we took all of the precautions necessary for everyone to enjoy their time at our house. But watching all of our friends with their kids seemed like there were more kids in hand then there were alcoholic drinks in hand.

Then why did our guest carry around their kids like a young child toting around a stuffed animal? They must have forgotten their rolls of bubble wrap at home that day.  I know one child was getting over a cold and the parents didn’t want their kid to touch too much, but once you bring the kid to the party you are spreading their germs from your hands. There was no point of holding the kid back from having fun at that point.

All in all I felt weirded out at my own party letting my 1 year old daughter, MJ, run around carefree & playing while some other parent were putting the full nelson to their kids. I did have to stop MJ from going to a few places where she might get a scuff or two, but you would expect that from a recovering helicopter parent.

This party taught me a few things.

1. I am becoming more and more a Free Range Parent.
2. I realized that most parents that carried around their kids did it out of an unconscious habit. As an example; I asked a number parents if their kid would play with the toys at our feet if they put the kid down. The answer was always, “Yes”. And when they put their kid down, we watched our children play out of the corner of our eyes while we talked and enjoyed a beer [it really wasn't all that hard].
3. I also noticed that parenting via bubble wrap is unrealistic & a lazy way of parenting. The children are not learning the age old teachings of Cause & Effect [which is one of the best teacher's in the universe]. If you are not letting the child experience life, you aren’t teaching the child a damn thing except that you will protect, provide,  and tell them what to do 24/7/365 until you die.

I have met so many bubble wrap children & helicopter parents, that is is pretty much the norm. What happened to the time when a parent arrived at a party and told the kids to go play and don’t break a damn thing? That’s how I was raised. I want to say that most of the 30 something parents of today were raised in the same manner. And when my mom said for me to behave at a party, I knew about the unsaid waring from her that she would kick my ass in front of everyone if I stepped out of line. I don’t think enough parents are putting that level of fear and respect into their kids these days. The kids can’t learn what happens if they step out of line or get hurt if they are attached to ma’ma or da’da’s hip.

- Ken

The most infamous family of 10, in our current history, is on the verge of becoming one less in either direction. The parents on the TV show, Jon & Kate Plus 8 are having serious marital issues.

First off, it’s sad to hear of anyone having marital issues and heading to divorce [except for Renae's cousin who was married to a psycho ass woman]. The talk of separation and divorce is such a heart throbbing topic for me. My parents divorced when I was 5 and it still effects me today. Marriage issues are very common. Renae and I are not immune to marital issues. We’ve talked with an Marriage Family Child Councilor, MFCC, before. It helped in some ways, but overall assured us that we are normal and can work out our issues together.

But Jon & Kate were playing with fire from the beginning. What were they thinking actually considering giving  birth to 6 kids on top of the 2 they already had. I know I would be a wreck having that many kids around me 24/7/365. That decision only marked the beginning of their parenting mis-adventures.

If you watched the show from the beginning [which I didn't] or caught any show in between, you could see that they weren’t the happiest couple. The amount of stress they had from having 8 kids, was tremendous. Then, throw in a reality TV show on top of it and you’ve just quadrupled the stress. With all this stuff surrounding you 24/7, how could you be a couple that works out any issue that come along? There is no time for “them”. Out of the few shows I watched, I don’t remember Jon & Kate taking a vacation just for them [ok, maybe early on]. Now, they individually take one child all over the place, but I didn’t see them spend time with each other. That tells me they were falling apart well before any other external influences were involved.

The one notable aspect to this family rearing mis-adventure was how they were able to go form an IT Analyst salary [figure about 45k to 80K per year] to a multi-million dollar income according Six Gosselins and Associated Content. This didn’t happen over night and there was lots of planning involved from the start [someone deserves a lot of credit]. Out of it, it seems like Kate took advantage of the situation and ran with it. Jon took advantage of it by running off by himself on his own vacations and claims to have quit his job to be home with the kids due to this wife’s travel engagements. Well shit, if Renae turned around and made 4 to 10 times my salary, I would quit my damn job also, take care of the kids and become more of a Free Software advocate. Granted we only have 2, but come on, who wouldn’t leave their job in that situation?

So is it Kate’s over controlling nature, Jon’s lack of passion & get’re done nature, the fame, the chaos of a household with 8 kids or Kate’s individual fame & fortune causing the problem? I think it is all of the above. Watching the show and the bias nature of the editors, it showed me that they were not in sync as a couple & parents. It always looks like they were headed down two separate paths.

From my experience, if a parenting body is not working together then they are going to fail as parents and possibly as a couple. Neither failure is apparent from the get go, but there are signs along the way.  You have to choose to recognize the signs and make the proper adjustments that will satisfy your desires. It all comes down to the desires of the individual. That individual has to choose, for themselves, to be a “We” or they will be an “I” with a bunch of baggage [as in Jon & Kate's situation].

- Ken

What the hell happened?  I know it’s been 30 years, but so much has changed.  For me, a huge change is economic.  My parents didn’t have any money, so even if I wanted to go to camp, we could never have afforded it anyway.  Also, I only remember camps where you went away for a week and stayed in some cabin and cried for your Mom.  I think I just watched it on TV and had no idea.  In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever personally met anyone in my age group that actually went away to camp.  Was it even real?

I also don’t remember all these “day camps” being around back in the day.  I know I went to one “day camp”, but it wasn’t called that.  I can’t remember much but they took us swimming and we got a tshirt.  I also remember playing some games and having a sack lunch, so yeah, we did something similar to today’s “camp” mania.  But today, there’s a camp for everything you can think of.  From cooking to archery to robotics.  If you can think it, there’s a camp for it.

Just this week, PJ went to Mike Hovenic’s soccer camp and it was packed.  Probably 150 kids.  This is like every camp we’ve been to, every summer, for the past 2 years.  Packed!  In fact, we usually have to book our summer camps by April, just to make sure we have a spot.  The recession seemed to make this year a bit more chill, but still, I’m feeling pressure should we decide to do any other camps this summer.

We started signing PJ up for these “summer day camp” things a few years ago.  This was when we lived in the heart of the city and in a neighborhood with NO kids.  PJ, being an only child [MJ wasn't born yet] and me, being a SAHM, Ken and I felt compelled to at least get her some socialization.  I’m a pretty cool Mom, but even I get bored of me, so poor PJ needed a break [ok, I admit, I needed one too].

So, we signed her up for Seaworld camp and a Critter Camp, at the Helen Woodward center.  And thus started our camp tradition.  2 camps a summer.

Anyway, now, we live in a neighborhood with quite a few kids whom play together all the time.  We have a swimming pool, an air hockey table, Wii console games, tons of sports equipment and lots of parks in the neighborhood.  So…why in the world am I paying for camp, as are all the other neighborhood parents?

OK, part of it IS learning.  PJ LOVES soccer and Mike’s camps are very good skills camps.  So, yeah, soccer camp is part learning and part fun.  But I know people who have their kids in various camps all summer long and they aren’t working parents either.  One mom flat out told me, “Well, the kids will get so bored.  And, they’ll drive me crazy!”  Bored?  Crazy?  What kid today could possibly get bored today?  They all have so much friggin’ crap!  Crazy?  OK, that, I buy.  But that’s $150 to $200 bucks a camp!  So much for a recession.

After all this smack talk, I have to admit.  Today, I promised PJ she could pick another camp for the summer, but just one.  She got really excited, then the bell rang.  Off she scampered and forgot all about picking.  Instead, all the kids in the neighborhood piled into our game room to play air hockey, then ran outside to play volleyball and ended the afternoon with “rockband” on the wii.

So tell me again, why am I looking for another camp?  Oh yeah, I know, because we parents “think” our kids will get bored.  We’re so concerned about raising lazy, TV addicted, mush brains that we make damn sure they won’t have a chance to think about it.  But really, PJ seems very content to just watch cartoons till 10, stay in her pajamas till noon and play with her friends till dinner.   It’s me.  I feel the need to organize her life.  Like most parents today.  Is it competition, “keeping up with the Jones” or just habit?

Well, the true test comes in August.  I’m “assuming”, PJ will be somewhat bored by then and a 2nd camp will be a blessing.  The cartoons will be played out, the kids will start getting sick of each other and life will become monotonous.  So, yeah.  I’m reserving one more camp.  I’ll let you know in August, if it was a waste of money or not.

~ Renae

To my Dad, also known as Papi, Grandpa, Hon, Amiel and Famous Amos [in the local bars].  You’re that guy that most people like, some people hate and everyone knows.   You’ve played in a band since, like FOREVER,  and have practiced in the basement since I can remember.  I mean, you’re pretty much “one” with your guitar and without music, I don’t think you could live.

You’ve been around 56 years, so I think you’re doin’ alright.  I’m pretty positive you’ll be around for many more.  You better be.  We need you.  Mom needs you, even if she acts like she don’t.  Good grief, you’ve been together since you were like, what?  13?  OK, maybe you weren’t together, but I know you were “crushing”, “dating”, “going steady”, whatever you wanna call it.  That was like, 43 years ago and you’re still together?  Right on!

Even if you made Mom frown sometimes, you made me smile a lot.  I might be a “forever optimist” and typically only choose to remember good stuff, but that’s how it was [for me, anyway].  You made crazy contraptions to keep us engaged [sling shots and clothes line-zip lines].  You took us sleigh riding and taught us how to ride motorcycles [and tote goats].  You were our creative and carefree side.

Was there more you could have done as a father, as a husband?  Hell, I guess so.  Shit, can’t we all?  But I wouldn’t second guess a damn thing.  I’m just thankful and proud that both my Mom AND my Dad, toughed out the bad times, continued to work hard to make a life together, kept the family as a unit, remained committed and stayed married.  You and Mom are my inspiration!

I know the last 7 years have been tough.  When Mom had her stroke, she was only 48.  She was young and full of life and, she was the family matriarch.  She paid the bills, did the taxes, took care of the house.  Then, bam!  Everything came to a halt. But, Dad, you stepped up.  You had to.  Between you and Chris, you took care of Mom.  Ed and myself helped as much as we could, but you really pulled through for Mom.  Now that’s what I call “rocking chair” love.

Tomorrow is Father’s day and I’m not sure if you will have band practice.  I doubt it.  Rick and Denny will probably spend the day with their families and you will probably pace and fiddle, since Mom is in NY.  But I know where you’ll will be next Sunday.  Just like clock work.  In the basement, with the band, playing your guitar, singing into the mic and being my Dad. 

Here we are, today.  I’m a Mom now.  And you, well you aren’t just my Dad or my Papi anymore.  You’re “Grandpa” or “Gampa” now.  And a great one at that!  My kids adore you.  You engage them with all the same silly “made up” toys you did when we were kids.  Oh, and I have you to thank for PJ’s sincere and complete interest in cartoons.  Not today’s crap, but old skool stuff, like Betty Boop and Popeye.  Your cookie cheers over some Betty Boop, are classic.  Thanks Grandpa!

As far as Father’s go, I’m happy you were mine.  I wouldn’t change  my childhood for nothin’.  And I’m even more happy that my kids know a Grandpa that loves them, enjoys them and shows them that unconditional love that all children need.

Happy Father’s day, Papi!

~ Your daughter, Renae

Author, Kate Granju was the first person I ever heard use the term, “bubble wrapped” child.  I’m sure there are others, but she was the first to really get my attention with it.  After I laughed my ass off, I started thinking.  She’s right.  Kids today are bubble wrapped.  They are over protected, over indulged, over parented.  They are dependent, egotistical and even worse, entitled.  Yup, I said it.  I called a lot of people out, including myself and my kids.  I’d like to think I only need one roll of bubble wrap though, not 50.  But is that not enough or still too much?  Hmmmm…

See, I think the 1950’s parents had a lot in common with those of us today.  They were more concerned with appearances then anything.  Remember Donna Read and June Cleaver?  Perfect house, perfect clothes, perfect hair, perfect everything. Didn’t matter what Wally or Beaver did, really.  Oh, the perfect Mom of the 50’s acted like she cared, but it was always the Daddy who took care of the difficult things [just wait until your Dad gets home].  The discipline, the talking to, the problems [especially, the spankings].  All taken care of by Dad.  June and Donna just made sure the house looked good.  They kept up appearances.  They smoked like trains and were skinny little rails.  Drank martinis all day and smiled all night [that part I like, though].  But that was their job, not parenting.

Then came the next generation.  The parents of the 70’s.  Our parents.  Boy, talk about “free range”.   It was more like, be home before dark, call me when you get home from school, just look both ways before crossing the street and run like hell.  Oh, and can you run down the corner store.  Here’s a note for my cigarette’s, bring me back the change. Nice!

Sounds bad now, doesn’t it?  What neglect!  We could’ve been killed, molested, kidnapped.  What were our parent’s thinking?  We didn’t have a cell phone in case of an emergency.  And our watch was either the street lights coming on or a very loud scream from your Mom yelling out the front door.  And if you were late, Mom smacked you around or pinched your ear as you walked in the door.  I was way more afraid of my Mom than my Dad.  I think most of us were.

Then our generation came along.  Oh, sure, times had changed.  Yes, the media started reporting all the bad things that could happen to a child and scared the hell out of everyone, but it was more than that.  Kidnapping, murder, rape and general child delinquency were hot issues across the nation, but so were designer jeans, $200 sneakers, ballet class for 18 month olds and the best yet, cell phones for Kindergartners.

In addition to commercialism, the late 90’s and 2000’s became the era of competition.  Everyone wanted to be the best.  Have the best car, own the best house, send their kid to the best school.  The “Yuppy” mentality was abound and a new breed of parent was formed.  After we wanted it all for ourselves, we decided we wanted even more for our kids.  Like the 50’s parents, it’s all about appearances.  Our kids look good, we look good.  If our kid is really smart, then we’re doing our job.  If our kid struggles, we failed.  So what do we do?  We push and we push our kids to NEVER fail.  Talk about pressure!

So here we are, today, with parents that want everything for their kids.  I admit, even I do.  I want for them, all the things I didnt’ have and all the accomplishments I didn’t complete.  But where do we draw the line?  When are our kids individuals and not puppets?  It’s been wearing on my mind for a few years now.  I’ve done small things like limit PJ to 2 activities at a time and enforce that she sell or donate old toys before she gets new ones.  We don’t really limit TV, but we limit TV with commercials.  So no Disney channel.  If the kids want to watch a movie, they can put in a DVD, use Hulu or On Demand [therefore, no commercials, no brainwashing...at least not as much or as bad as Disney channel].

Only time will tell if any of these things matter in shaping a less entitled child.  We have noticed that PJ is less afraid of making mistakes this year, but she’s still very much a perfectionist.  The balance is better than preK or Kinder though.  The more I keep my mouth shut, the better it is for my kids.  Just smile and hug.  Smile and hug.

But it even goes beyond wanting the best for your child or even wanting your child to be the BEST.  What I’ve noticed among friends, family, acquaintances, etc., is that parents today are so concerned with control [did I say control, I meant safety] and organization, they don’t even let their kids live.  Every playdate is scheduled, every activity is scheduled, kids can’t go to the park alone [so that's scheduled], they can’t walk to school alone [too dangerous], can’t play in the front yard [good God, no].  So what can they do?  When do they get to be free?  When do they get to make a mistake, so they come home late and get a pinched ear? Don’t they need that?

I started wondering about all this about 3 years ago.  I was so sick and tired of driving to playdates and activities and our neighborhood was full of helicopter parents.  Not to mention,  all the neighborhood kids had at least 3 layers of bubble wrap each.  So, we sold our city house, packed up and headed to the burbs with fingers crossed that it would be better.

We’ve gotten lucky so far and found a neighborhood where parents do allow their kids to play at friend’s houses and, God forbid, in the front yard.  All the girls ride bikes together, play hide and seek, tease the boys in the neighborhood and generally have a great time.  Oh, and get this.  PJ learned to tell time on a regular watch at age 6.  Why?  Because if she was late, it was her fault, not her friend’s Mothers.  So, tell time or be late.  Get my drift?  BTW…what’s up with kids not knowing how to tell time these days?  Anyway…

Next year, we’ll be in a new school, about 4 blocks from home and guess what, we’ll walk. Yeah, I said “we’ll”.  So I will get up, dress the baby [who will be 1 1/2 then] and walk PJ to school.  Secretly, I think a group of kids from the neighborhood should be able to walk alone [together] at this age [2nd grade].  Am I wrong?  I mean, like a little caravan.  Not alone or anything.

But even as “free range” as some of the neighborhood parenting is, I wouldn’t even bring up the suggestion.   I don’t want to get blackballed and put on the “neglectful” parent list.  At least not yet.  It might be too late already, though.  We brought beer to the neighorhood Easter Egg hunt.  Doesn’t everyone need a beer when 40 screaming kids fight for Easter Eggs?

Photo: Stephen Baccon

Today was a rarity.  I came down from painting and picked up the craptop to start ordering all of MJ’s birthday party stuff [yeah, very late because the party is this Saturday and it's gonna cost me $24.99 to ship it all].  Anyway, I decided to flip channels and came across Transporter 2.  Nice.  But a commercial break was on.  I’m impatient [very!] and I hate commercials [a lot].  So, I continued flipping.  Click, click, click…oh…Jon & Kate, plus 8!  Hummm…I’ve been reading so much, what the hell, why not.  [click!]

Admittedly, I am a bit curious, amidst all this controversy.  All this betrayal.  Chicks, bodyguards, money. How can you not be somewhat interested?  But then I started thinking, is it really about adultery?  How will it play out?  How will it affect he kids?  Will the show be “real”?  Mostly I wanted to see if they [meaning Jon and Kate] would be really, REAL [if you get my drift].  So, I watched, not one, but two episodes.

Mind you, we haven’t seen this show since the sextuplets were 2 or 3, so this was a definite eye opener.  Man!  the monetary transformation these folks have made is tremendous!  In simpler terms, they are rollin’ in the dough, dude!  They have a huge house now, a bus [with a driver], Jon quit his job and is home with the kids and Kate is now the breadwinner [and a big one at that].  Not to mention the babies are now 5 and aren’t looking quite so frail.  They actually look like regular ol’ kids.  I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart from any other kinder kid.  In fact, they’re rather resilient and mature, so they seem to be doing quite well.

What I did notice, which was no different than what I remembered, was Kate finishing everyone’s sentence, actions, etc., and Jon standing around with his hands in his pockets.  The only difference now, seems to be the space apart they are on the couch.  It’s 9 inches as opposed to 3.

Do I think they had affairs?  I don’t know, probably.  Or came very, very close.  I think that the “new” money they have has posed more problems than they ever dreamed.  Both parents appear to be away from the kids, and each other, more often than not.  They have the money to do more extravagant outings, which don’t appear to be together.  And because of the moolah and “pseudo stardom”, they attract a certain, how shall I say, groupie.  So, yeah, it’s highly possible that one or both of them has stepped out in their marriage.

So now what?  Both of them continuously profess their love and devotion to the kids and desire to not have any of this affect them.  Wishful thinking, but whatever.  The audience will suck it up, and tune in next week.  But not to see the kids, the audience just wants to see how Jon and Kate are behaving. [as was I]  I want to see a fight…on TV.  Not avoidance.  I want drama.  Cold hard drama!  Some crying and anger.  Some realism.  This IS reality TV, right?  Now, if I get that, I might watch again.  Otherwise, no dice.

I do hope they can work it out for the kids [we always say that when couples are on the brink.  It's the PC thing to say].  Me, personally, I think they will split….eventually.  And one of these three things will happen, either they will work it into the show, make a spinoff, ["Jon & Kate, Share 8"] or they will milk this avoidance thing for a year, call it quits and split the money 50/50.  Then Kate will write another book about the split, sell 20 more million copies, do more book tours and Jon will remarry [to some coed and have 2 more kids].  Happily ever after…