I have to admit…I was jealous.  This weekend, we spent some time with a friend of mine that I hadn’t seen in 16 years.  Great, great gal!  Her hubby, awesome!  Daughter, gorgeous and so sweet.   We all had so much in common and things flowed so smooth, it bordered scary.

But then, a conversation occured and I got jealous.  No, they don’t have more sex (ok, maybe…we have a 10 month old) or have more money or drive a better car or have a bigger house.  Nope…they simply have more time alone.  Meaning they have more “couple” time.  More “private” time.  They even get to go on weekends away to Vegas, ALONE.  Say what?!?!  Ok.  We went to Vegas with our kids and it sucked!  So, yeah, I’m very jealous.  Vegas sucks with kids, so don’t pretend.  Torture for you and torture for your kids.  Just don’t do it.  Outside of the Shark Encounter at Mandalay Bay, the whole city is nothing but torture for parents with kids in tow!

Back on track….  So, I made a comment that it was so cool they had this awesome support system and family that could take their daughter, blah, blah, blah.  And then, D (friend’s hubby) shot back and said, “so do you~!”  Talk about smack in the face.  By hell, he’s right!  Ken’s family is here in So Cal.  You might be asking yourself, “yeah dumbass, what you bitchin’ about?”

Well…I’ll admit a few things.  One, I’m definitely controlling.  Let me be more honest, I am a control FREAK!  If we travel by car, train, plane, whatever,  I NEVER sleep.  Why…because I’M NOT DRIVING.  That’s right, I cannot put my life in some one elses hands and simply take a snooze.  EVER!  Ok…maybe if I’m super hung over or very sick (another post).  Therefore, leaving my kids in someone else’s hands…scares me to death!

Anyway, so yeah, we have Ken’s family close, but it’s not like that.  We just aren’t that tight .  My Mom has a theory.  She says that boys will gravitate to their wives families and it’s normal.  I say, “what about Ed?” (my bro)  Him and his wife are very tight with my family.  So, either our family is really cool or her family really sucks.  You’ll have to ask her.

OK…here’s reason two.  I’m not just a control freak.  I’m a worry wart with a tremendous imagination.  BTW, those two elements do not go together very well:   worry wart + imagination = stress.  And after thinking about it, long and hard, I decided, I wouldn’t leave my kids for a week with my OWN family.   That’s right!  I trust NO one!  A weekend?  Sure, absolutely!  A week?  Don’t think so!

And last, reason three.  I feel so much sense of responsibility and love for these kids.  I know “alone” time is good for me.  It’s good for Ken.  It’s good for our marriage, etc, etc.  But, my sense of responsibility just consumes me.  I mean, they’re MY girls.  God forbid (hate that term, but again, another post) something should happen and I’m not there…I just don’t know.  I guess it goes back to reason two, huh?  Maybe even reason one.  Jeez…I might need therapy.  LOL!  Anyway, I know.   Now, please understand.  I don’t say that people that leave their kids with Grandma and Grandpa are wrong or I’m a better Mom because I don’t.  What I’m saying is that if you leave your kids and proceed to feel guilty, it kinda defeats the purpose, don’t it?  And, if you use the reasoning that, “it’s Grandma or Grandpa’s duty”, then you need to check yourself. That’s all I’m sayin’.

All this said, I would LOVE a weekEND away…but a WEEK away is too much for me. And yes, I realize it’s because of ME and not my girls.  So, shoot me!

- Renae

1. Mandi Says:
   April 28th, 2009 at 9:24 am

   So… I have this little breakdown EVERY time I have to leave me kids… especially if it is not with my mom. If I am leaving them for the weekend, it brews for days and I freak out usually the night before or morning of and just don’t sleep or relax until I get to my destination and hear their voices and that they are okay.

   I have a mini in my head only freak out pretty much every time I leave them to go to work. And hell, I work maybe 20 hours a week and Chris gets them within 2 hours of me dropping them off. Nonetheless, the voice in my head cannot be squelched. I live in fear something will happen, ANYTHING (first steps, broken arm, etc), and I will not be there.