I quizzed and I probed, but PJ is adament that she loves Mrs. D.  She loves the singing, the excitement, the general feeling of her class.  So, by default, I should love Mrs. D., right?  Well…not so fast.

Here’s the deal.  Mrs. D comments way too much about what a perfectionist PJ is.  I don’t get it.  Be thankful, teacher woman, my kid gives you no hassle (ever), does her work, minds her business…so, if she gets pissy cuz something she worked on isn’t perfect, leave her be. (I know, I’m being a helicopter again)

So last night we went to Open House at PJ’s school.  You know, go see the room, all the stuff they did, talk with the teacher, and mainly, pick up all their “work”.  Pretty much it’s spring cleaning for the classroom, right?  Anyway, as soon as I kneel down to take a look at PJ’s work, Mrs. D says, “OH, you might want to take a seat!  I’m SURE you’ll have to see EVERYTHING.  We know how PJ is…”  I’m thinking to myself, well, doesn’t everyone come here to see EVERYTHING?  Then, as PJ walks off to show Daddy something on the wall, Mrs. D walks up and continues on this “perfectionist” thing.  Telling me that she worries about PJ always wanting things to be done right and getting upset if she doesn’t know the right answer, etc.  So I said, “Yeah, she does that, but if you leave her be, she figures it out and it’s not a big deal.”  Mrs. D then tells me, “My son was just like that.  They don’t know how to deal with failure, then all of a sudden, it’s a crisis.”  First of all, PJ is not her son and I don’t know what issues he or she has, but it bugs me when teachers compare your kid to their kid.  BTW, this is about the 20th time she’s done this.  It happens about every other week when I speak with her briefly about how things went that week or day.  It’s always, “PJ is such a joy.  She’s just such a perfectionist.  I worry about her.”  Is she worrying about PJ or her son?  I’m confused.

Anyway, there isn’t much I think we could do to change PJ’s desire to be perfect.  She loves the book, Anthony, the Perfect Monster and she knows it’s ok to not do everything right all the time.  And she knows we love her no matter what and that “NOBODY’S perfect”, including Mom and Dad.  But, somewhere, deep, deep inside, there’s that competitive nature and perfectionism, built right in to her.  I can’t change her AND, truthfully, I really don’t want to!

I’ll admit it.  I do want her to be “the best” sometimes.  If you’re a parent, you know what I mean. It feels good, to have the “top” kid at soccer or ballet or school.  Because we all know, they aren’t the best at EVERYTHING.  So when they excel at something, we LOVE it!  It makes us proud.  That’s the cool part of being a parent.  You get to be proud and smile and cheer for your kid and not give a rats ass what other people think.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re not just about winning or being the best ALL the time.  Our house rule is simple: “I don’t care if  you’re perfect, the Best, whatever, but you give me 110% in whatever you do and I’ll  be happy.  Because quitters never win.”  I’m just saying, effort is everything, right?  However, I’m wondering if this perfectionist thing is bigger than I suspected, because two days ago, PJ turned to me and said, “I gave 200%, Mom!” and smiled from ear to ear!  I wonder if I said, “ok, give 200%”, if she would say, “I gave 300%.”  Somethin’ tells me, “ahhhh, ya!!!”

So, I’m raising a perfectionist.  Life could be worse…

OH…And BTW, Mrs. D doesn’t suck.  You might not be able to tell, but I do like her.  And, I think she’s done a great job with PJ.

- Renae