Alright, so today, something happened that got me thinking about what kind of parent I really am. MJ’s monitor died (momentarily). Well, it didn’t die, just the video part wasn’t working, only audio. Anyway, all of a sudden, I couldn’t see her sleeping. I got tense and stressed. WTF? I mean, why was I having withdrawals because I couldn’t actually see her?

So, I started thinking. Is this something I NEED because I worry about her or is this something I LIKE because then I can wait extra long to go get her out of the crib when she wakes (because I SEE her and she’s fine). Truly, I think it’s the latter. But, it’s also the fact that I like seeing her. Knowing she’s fine. Not having to guess if she’s trying to eat another one of her barrettes I forgot to take out of her hair or somehow lodged her head between the bars of the crib. Our crib is 2nd hand, who knows what recalls are on it. But, really, it gives me a sense of security. A sense of peace. Peace is nice and I need a little peace in my life. Every parent does, right?

After all that wondering, I decided I wasn’t fully hovering. But then a friend of mine said to me, “Uh, yeah, kinda!” Of course, I was immediately defensive. What the hell? I mean, I make PJ walk to school, allow her to play outside with her friends (unsupervised), and even let her go on a playdate without me attending and she’s only 7. Some of you might laugh (or gasp). 7? This is all normal stuff all 7 year olds do, ain’t it? We did all that and then some at 7 years old, right? Yeah, but I know a LOT of Helicopter parents, the hovering, overprotective types and there is no way in hell they’d let their kid play in the front yard without momma hen watching. And I still have friends that won’t let their kids go on a playdate alone. Hell, we had as many parents at PJ’s 7th birthday party as we did kids.

So, am I Free Range, really? I think I’m 50% there. I’m seriously considering letting PJ walk to school alone next year. She’ll be in 2nd grade and we’re only 4 blocks from school, why not? I would definitely do it if there were other kids for her to walk with. But, in all honesty, I still see Moms walking with their 5th graders and that “Mommy of the Year” pressure will probably get the best of me. I’ll end up dragging the baby out every morning, pull my hair in a ponytail, fill my coffee mug and act like a Helicopter parent because I’m afraid that people will think poorly of me for NOT walking my little girl to school every day.

When we were kids, the term “latch key” became some sort of label to explain those of us whose parents worked and we wore the house key around our neck like a badge of honor. You know, I felt kinda cool to have the house key and responsibility of being alone and tending (or bossing) my younger siblings till my Mom and Dad got home from work. I think it made me more independent and capable. So, yeah, I think I want my oldest to get a taste of this feeling.

Speaking of taste of responsibility, I hope no one will call DCFS on me, but recently, I got PJ up (she had just went to bed) and asked her to watch her baby sister (whom was asleep) while I went to pick up Ken from the train station. Now, don’t freak! It’s only 1 mile, if that. So, anyway, I ask PJ to watch her sister (alone) and her eyes got the size of a breaker marble and she said, “That’s a big responsibility!  But I can do it! No problem, Mom!” I knew she felt cool. I could see it in her eyes. She looked a little scared too, because she hugged Scooby (our dog) a little too hard.  But, I also knew, she was ready.

And then…I did the unthinkable, I left my babies home, alone, at 9 at night for 10 whole minutes. OMG! OK, but seriously, we were all ok with it. When Ken and I got home, I said to PJ, “see, it was only 2 minutes”. She gave me that ‘liar’ look and said, “no, it wasn’t”. She was right, it was actually 10 minutes, but she did it and went on to bed, feeling proud.

After it’s all said and done, am I a helicopter or a free range parent? Well, I think I do a bit of both, but I definitely favor the free range a bit more. I guess I just don’t think today’s world is that much different than when we grew up. What scares me most is the commercialism and my very good friend, the Internet. But again, I hope all the talking and discussion (and scare tactic) will help my kids make good decisions. At some point, they’ll have to do it without me being there, right?

So, while I won’t be tying the house key around her neck any time soon, I will be allowing her to play at the neighbors and ride bikes in the neighborhood till dark (summer IS coming). Do you remember that? “Be home before dark”. Does that even exist? More than likely, I’ll say it, but she’ll be in long before dark. Because the other rule I have is she cannot be out alone. Two kids out front, together, at all times! One goes in, other goes home, period. OK, there goes that helicopter again…

- Renae