When Renae asked me the question of rather I was a Helicopter or a Free Range parent, I first thought she had lost her damn mind. Then she started talking more about it and said she wanted to write a post about it. I then felt compelled to give her the hand, in a nice way of course, so I could do my research on the topic. I did a super quick Google search to see what the hell she was trying to get out of me. I was surprised to see so many results turning up and the information I found dated back to 2005. I figured this was some sort of recently coined topic, but as usual I am behind in the times of parenting lingo and classifications.

According to Wikipedia a Helicopter Parent is the following:

Helicopter parent is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child’s or children’s experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. These parents rush to prevent any harm or failure from befalling them and will not let them learn from their own mistakes, sometimes even contrary to the children’s wishes. They are so named because, like helicopters, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not.

On the other side you have a Free Range Parent. I wasn’t able to find a wikipedia article on the subject or a good definition, so you get to read my definition:

Free Range parent is a parental entity that lets their children experience life in all ways without the immediate guidance from a parent.

After my searching, I now understand [thanks Google]. She was asking me if I am the type of parent that lets their kid run around & get into every damn thing without consequence or the type of parent that is quick to snatch up my kid & set down the law of correct behavior.,

So, what am I? I am a F.R.I.T. (Free Range in Training). I fully admit that I am currently a helicopter parent and I can bet Renae is right in there with me. We are both learning to give more & more bits of freedom to PJ, but it is damn hard. It is hard because, I like to know what she is doing all the time [cause if she is playing Lego's then I might want to play also]. When it came to monitoring PJ as a baby and MJ currently, there was no question that we wouldn’t do video monitoring. For PJ I put together a solution using X10 cameras and a small 8 inch B&W TV. For MJ we ponied up and bought a solution from Safty 1st off Craigslist. PJ is no longer under such close surveillance, MJ however is still on Parental Voyeur Television (PVTV) [she is only 11 months old, what do you expect].

Then how am I a FRIT? Becoming a FRIT takes time & sending your kid to school helps speed up your FRIT transition. Don’t deny the truth, you have to let your kids grow up and experience life. You can’t stop every bump, bruise, scuff or black eye.  Being a recovering helicopter parent myself, I know that helicoptering is about control. You can rest somewhat assured that if you have set the proper groundwork for your kids to know right from wrong, then you can start down the path of a FRIT. It is damn hard to break the habits of a helicopter parent, but it is possible.  Just don’t wait too long or you might end up with that uncontrollable teenager that is ready to run away with the first person that says they love them. OK, that is a bit extreme. But seriously, don’t wait for so long to let your kid(s) grow up and don’t just throw them to the wolves. Gradually let go and guide them .

-Ken

1. AndrewBoldman Says:
   June 4th, 2009 at 2:23 pm

   Hi, good post. I have been woondering about this issue,so thanks for posting. I’ll definitely be coming back to your site.