You can feel that I’m being rude and disrespectful to my father or our family and that is your right or opinion. This blog was not written in anger or for spite or for hatred towards my family. It was written as an expression of me. An expression of a person that most of you don’t truly know and from a person that only has hear-say spoken about them. So, don’t make assumptions of myself & my family when you don’t know shit about them or me any more.

Since everyone is focused on the enema statement, here is the meaning behind my colorful depiction; Our family has an air of being higher then thou. Along with that, I haven’t seen our family truly accept people that don’t have the same views or if that person doesn’t need a family to attach too. I’ve seen it many times in my relationship(s) and seen if from the relationships of others within our family. Our family has many pluses, but the negatives are just as powerful. Others may disagree with my observations and so be it.

And to fully clarify everything. I have spoken with my father, this week to be exact, and we are all good in our relationship. He is not offended by my blog. He said what he liked & didn’t like about it, but is perfectly fine with my feelings and my expression of them. So if you are attempting to defend him, you better make sure he wants it first.

Ken

It’s been a very long time since we’ve talked, let alone seen each other. I hope all is good for you.

I wrote this blog post to have humor and to express myself. The comments about my dad doing my mother is something I could say to my dad. You do realize that every parental relationship is different and certain things are in good humor with some and offensive to others. I wasn’t expecting this blog post to be the talk of the family, but I’m actually happy that people/family are reading it. There hasn’t been enough conversations happening to clear out any issues. Our Family has had so many sibling fallouts that I can barely count them on two hands. If this gets everyone talking and issues are work out, then this is all for the better.

In regards to my “arrogant” comment back to your father I’ll just say this; when you have kids and someone questions your parenting ability, you let me know what your reaction is.

Plus, when did you become a psychologist? I didn’t know you gave profession diagnosis about self esteem issues.

Take care of yourself,

Ken

Thank you for your comments & the sharing of your life. As you said, no family is perfect. But what I’ve seen from being with & around other families is that they resolve most of their family issues and don’t just tolerate the things people don’t like about each other and talk behind each others backs. The issues are confronted and then open too all. Not to say that all issues are for everyone’s ears, bu the good majority are. We are an internally focused family and to me it doesn’t seem to be getting any better.

In regards to my sisters voluntary time spent with the family . . . well that’s a given. She has the “time”. She is not providing for her family financially or trying to manage her life between a high stress job, children, spouse & two families. I’m not down playing her time spent as a mother, but she has her focus and I have mine. So don’t try to justify her life & time with the Simeon’s, against the limited time I have for my own family & any attempts I make to spend that time with both of my extended family.

At some point all things will get figured out between all of those having issues within our large extended family. I don’t know what the final out comes will be and I’m not worried about it.

You take care of yourself Aunt Pam,

Ken

You are correct in your assumption that this blog would create more communication through the Simeon Family. Renae I do not think one word should be focused on either. I think the overall tone of the message should be looked at. At first the lack of respect for the parents involved is interesting. I could never utter the words “doing mom, hope it was fun” Maybe it was just a funny joke, or not so funny. Second, Ken says yes I am that good in answering my fathers question on Ken being a good dad. That is a great self-evaluation! Most of the people I know who self-evaluate have self-esteem issues. That is a very arrogant comment. The Simeon’s are the only family to exist you say. I think everyone sees family when they can and these times should be special. I have never felt the family to be as you describe, but maybe I have a different view of things. Talking down to your father saying he is finally the grandfather he is expected to be. That just is not cool. I have a glass half-full kind of view! You work things out and have everyones back, that is what a family is all about. I hope you will not be so negative towards the family in the future and we can air everything out as you say.
Cousin, Ricky

I don’t know what the “core” reason is behind the issues within the family, I just know that it’s been strained since I met Ken and has simply gotten worse over the years. Rather than force the issue, it’s been easier to avoid any confrontation. If anything, this post has definitely sparked some discussion and exposed a bit of reality. Maybe the discussion will go from blog post comments to actual verbal communication. Maybe the air will finally begin to clear and the whispers will cease. Who knows.

What I do know is that trying to appease everyone is impossible and very time consuming and stressful. Especially when one is trying to raise their own family, have a career and keep their own marriage and life on track. Each person’s immediate family has their own priorities, available time, commitments, work schedules, etc. All of which play a role in extended family time. We should not be compared by quantity, but quality, no?

I don’t think anyone is seeking perfection here, but less stress and animosity would be nice. jmho

As far as the Simeon family is concerned, I am eternally grateful to have married into it. There is no perfection to be found in any family, but what helps us grow as people is figuring out how to get along with and love (or maybe sometimes just tolerate) each other, regardless of the family dynamics at any given time. Yes, I have experienced anger, frustration and bewilderment over the years with family members, but my love for this great big, loving, gifted, happy/unhappy, dysfunctional group of people has never flagged. I have an abiding belief that any one of my Simeon brothers and sisters, nephews and nieces, would be there for me if I needed it – just like most families.

That is why the family “enema” thing kind of put a damper on anything good that was said previously in your letter. If you don’t enjoy being at family functions, then you shouldn’t feel pressured to go, but hurting people who love you with that kind of a slight (and on a blog that anyone can read) doesn’t feel good.

I’m not down in Southern California often enough to speak on the dynamics of your sister’s relationship with you or your dad. My only observation is that she voluntarily spends much more time with the family than you do, so maybe that factors into what you perceive as favoritism. My hope is that the two of you figure out a way to bridge your differences, because it would be sad for this to be a permanent state of affairs. Family may not be everything, but it is important.

That’s about it, kiddo. I love you and hope to see you before too much time goes by.

Auntie Pam

I do feel better, thanks! But, this blog post was not about just a hypothetical verbal enema. It was a blog post to my father, your brother, and that was it. I did praise my father for the person that he is. It was not just about airing my hurt. If all you read about was the enema & “hurt”, then I’m sorry.

But to answer your question, the “Simeon enema” I was talking about was directed at my sister and in general at the whole family. The Simeon enema is the belief that the Simeon family is the only family that exists. Everyone of use has married into other family’s that are as good or if not better. We as a family have to except that the world does not revolve around the Simeon family.

Since you got me on the subject, our family has its faults for sure. Our family needs an enema to get all of the shit out of its system. Our family is not in good states and if you believe “we” are, then you need to open your eyes. We have so much in fighting and no one talking that I can’t call us a “wonderful” family.

About your comment about you hoping that I’m as good of a Dad as I make out, Yes I am that good! I might disappoint my daughters at some point, but I’ll make sure they know that I’m aware of my faults.

Beyond anything else, my father is a good man. I love him very much and he knows that. All that I’ve written here is known by him and if not then that it between us.

Have a good one, Uncle Richy!

Ken