Protect your child. Don’t let them get hurt. Make sure you’re watching every move. These are the things that run through the minds of all parents. It’s in our nature to protect our children. But how much protecting it too much? What’s the extent you would go to protect your child from getting hurt during everyday life? Would you carry around your small child on your hip like they were a purse to make sure they stay out of trouble? Would you wrap them in bubble wrap before you send them out to play with their friends or before you head to a friend’s birthday party for their kid?

This past weekend we celebrated the 1st birthday of MJ. We also selfishly made her birthday party into a house warming party [well you know that 1st birthdays are more of a celebration for the parents making it through the first year of the baby's life]. So we had double the reasons to celebrate and invited a good amount friends & family over to the house. Everyone that can said that they had a blast. It helped so much that the weather held out to allow our guest and us to swim in the pool.

But one thing kept bugging me during the party and for sure afterwards while talking with Renae. What I couldn’t believe was the number of people completely hovered over their children. A majority of our friends that had sub 5 year olds basically had their kids tucked under mommy or daddy’s wing during the entire party. In the pool is understandable, which I would expected. But to also do it when the children were out of the pool and the pool was covered. This situation made it very hard to have any form of an adult conversation with our friends.

It felt  so weird to me cause I feel that we have a very safe back yard.  Plus, we hired a life guard to watch over the kids [& adults] while we were swimming. The cover on pool is a hard cover that can hold up to 400 pounds per square inch [there is no risk of drowning]. We have fake grass, so there will be no grass stains to scrub out later. We had toys of MJ’s & PJ’s out to make sure the range of kids had something to play with. Plus, we made sure to pick up all of Scooby’s poop [we don't want any kid mistaking a piece of dog shit for a piece of chocolate]. I thought we took all of the precautions necessary for everyone to enjoy their time at our house. But watching all of our friends with their kids seemed like there were more kids in hand then there were alcoholic drinks in hand.

Then why did our guest carry around their kids like a young child toting around a stuffed animal? They must have forgotten their rolls of bubble wrap at home that day.  I know one child was getting over a cold and the parents didn’t want their kid to touch too much, but once you bring the kid to the party you are spreading their germs from your hands. There was no point of holding the kid back from having fun at that point.

All in all I felt weirded out at my own party letting my 1 year old daughter, MJ, run around carefree & playing while some other parent were putting the full nelson to their kids. I did have to stop MJ from going to a few places where she might get a scuff or two, but you would expect that from a recovering helicopter parent.

This party taught me a few things.

1. I am becoming more and more a Free Range Parent.
2. I realized that most parents that carried around their kids did it out of an unconscious habit. As an example; I asked a number parents if their kid would play with the toys at our feet if they put the kid down. The answer was always, “Yes”. And when they put their kid down, we watched our children play out of the corner of our eyes while we talked and enjoyed a beer [it really wasn't all that hard].
3. I also noticed that parenting via bubble wrap is unrealistic & a lazy way of parenting. The children are not learning the age old teachings of Cause & Effect [which is one of the best teacher's in the universe]. If you are not letting the child experience life, you aren’t teaching the child a damn thing except that you will protect, provide,  and tell them what to do 24/7/365 until you die.

I have met so many bubble wrap children & helicopter parents, that is is pretty much the norm. What happened to the time when a parent arrived at a party and told the kids to go play and don’t break a damn thing? That’s how I was raised. I want to say that most of the 30 something parents of today were raised in the same manner. And when my mom said for me to behave at a party, I knew about the unsaid waring from her that she would kick my ass in front of everyone if I stepped out of line. I don’t think enough parents are putting that level of fear and respect into their kids these days. The kids can’t learn what happens if they step out of line or get hurt if they are attached to ma’ma or da’da’s hip.

- Ken